“Give the ones you love the wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.”
~The Dalai Lama
C. Nemer, 3/2016
I’ve certainly enjoyed watching my child change from a [helpless] infant to a young boy who craves independence. It’s a change that seems to have happened overnight, despite the immense “work” that went into facilitating his growth.
As a Prenatal and Postpartum yoga teacher, I guide new mothers to start with their breath. In fact, breathing is the very first instruction in yoga–awareness followed by refinement. The breath takes us from pregnancy to childbirth and into parenting…but it is something that eludes us when faced with the day-to-day of life with children. Even so, I’d like to think that just breathing (I know, so cliché) has taken me through my son’s growth so far.
Parenting philosophies are so varied–another fact that keeps me grounded both when I am teaching those who mother their children differently than I do and when I am doubting my own abilities. In our case, my husband and I loosely followed Attachment Parenting, believing that our son would grow into increasing independence.
We were correct. We recently celebrated his second birthday, one that marks the transition to “not really a baby anymore.” At our gentle encouragement, he has learned to use the potty, sleep in his own room and recently started a Montessori-inspired preschool set on the edge of Philadelphia’s beautiful Carpenter’s Woods. He is hiking, learning letters, painting and talking non-stop.
Though he is still very much dependent on his parents, I am starting to realize that raga (attachment), is, as Patangali said, a cause of those annoying citta-vrttis (mixing Sanskrit/English here; translated as “mind-stuffs”), also known as anxiety. Patangali might not have spoken about parenting, but the mind behaves similarly for whatever it attaches to. For me, the lesson is to practice non-attachment…not clinging to any idea of what Cole should be doing, for example. Attachment (but not Attachment Parenting!) is a function of the ego–although necessary, it can create problems, too.
This doesn’t mean non-love, detachment or non-affection. It is simply accepting Cole as he is and understanding his needs during times of growth.
Parenting is a lifetime practice, as is yoga. I am adapting and and changing myself; adjusting to each new day with my son. This is yoga at its finest.
